We know you have Oedipal impulses, but peeing on the street/in a plant/off a balcony/your pants/in the corner of our bedroom* makes us feel like your mother in the absolute least appealing way possible.
我們知道你們都有戀母情結，在街上/樹根/陽臺外/你的褲子上/我們臥室的角落*這些地方撒尿確實能讓我們覺得是你媽，不過是最不性感的那種時刻。
*Yup, really happened to a friend of mine.
是滴，這是發(fā)生在我朋友身上的真事。
One eye closed, one eye kind of open, and your entire face really, really, sweaty. Not your best look, bud.
一眼閉一眼瞇，整個臉都糊滿了汗。堪稱你最丑的時刻了，大哥。
Guys have this thing where after a certain amount of drinks, they think they channel John Locke and literally cannot walk down the street without stopping, physically stopping to spout something brilliant and unintelligible.
男人多喝幾杯之后就會這樣，覺得自己成了好像成了約翰·洛克（哲學家），在街邊每走幾步就一定要停下來說些不知所云的話。
I think I speak for all women here when I say: "NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, CAN YOU PLEASE JUST KEEP WALKING?"
我覺得這句話是所有女性的心聲：“沒人知道你在講什么，你就不能安安靜靜地走嗎？”
Some guys need a drink in them before they feel comfortable enough to let go of inhibitions and dance. That's fine -- lots of girls need that, too.
有的男人要喝一杯才能能打開心防自在地跳舞。這無可厚非，很多女孩也需要。
But a few too many drinks, and suddenly guys act like they're extras on Step Up 4. Except they are not extras on Step Up 4, they're drunk guys, trying to dance.
不過喝得太多了，男人就突然覺得自己是舞神，能去《舞出一片天4》里露一手了?？上麄儾⒉皇请娪袄锏奈枵撸麄冎皇窃囍璧淖頋h罷了。
Sweat that smells like alcohol is like, ten times worse than normal sweat. Also, you're imbibing so much that it's literally being secreted out of your pores? Go home!
有酒精味道的汗水比普通的汗要難聞十倍。你也喝太多了吧，連毛孔都開始滲出酒精了?；丶野?！
Not getting it up because you have issues with that sometimes? Totally fine, and nothing to be ashamed of!
時不時有些不能堅挺的情況？這不算什么，沒什么好丟臉的。
Not getting it up because you drank too much? You don't know what you're missing, fool.
可因為喝太多而站不起來？你都不知道自己錯過了什么，傻瓜！
Because suddenly, it's important that everybody listen to this really great album, it's just so amazing, listen to it! Did you hear that line? Aw man, so good. Let's listen again.
突然間，大家就一定要聽一下這一偉大無比的專輯。這真是太好聽了，你一定要聽聽。你聽到那句詞了嗎？兄弟，太好了，再聽一次吧。
Something about alcohol makes men brave, cocky, and a little bit sexist. Just because you've knocked a few back does NOT give you permission to slap our asses every time we make the the mistake of walking by you.
酒壯慫人膽，酒精讓男人勇敢、自負而且還有點大男人。你多喝了幾杯，不代表每次我們錯誤地決定從你身邊走過時你都有權利拍打我們的屁股。
原文鏈接：howaboutwe
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