hello大家好，我是達達。今天中秋節(jié)，在這里達達祝大家節(jié)日快樂，事事順心如意！可能這個小長假很多人并沒有和家人一起過，但我們看到同一輪圓月，四舍五入也算團圓啦！
好了，回到今天的演講主題，你還記得自己上一次生氣，是什么時候，因為什么嗎？我以前曾經剖析過自己生氣的原因，說實話，有點搞笑又有點無奈：跟爸媽生氣，是因為覺得他們不在乎自己；跟不認識的路人生氣，是因為他們說話太大聲分散了自己的注意力；在電影院里被熊孩子鬧得看不下去，是因為他讓自己白白浪費了一張電影票......
其實那些我們以為的生氣的原因，都是假的，但當你真的了解了“生氣”本身，也許就能對很多事情都釋懷了。
演講者：瑞安·馬?。≧yan Martin）
演講題目：生氣有什么好？答案真的千奇百怪！
中英文對照翻譯
Alright, so I want you to imagine that you get a text from a friend, and it reads ... 'You will NOT believe what just happened. I'm SO MAD right now!' So you do the dutiful thing as a friend, and you ask for details.
讓我們一起想象一下，如果你的朋友發(fā)給你一條短信說，“你不會相信剛剛發(fā)生了什么！我現在好生氣！”所以你盡了作為一個朋友的義務，詢問具體的細節(jié)。
And they tell you a story about what happened to them at the gym or at work or on their date last night. And you listen and you try to understand why they're so mad. Maybe even secretly judge whether or not they should be so mad.
然后他們告訴了你他們在健身房，在工作場所或昨晚的約會上所發(fā)生的事情。你認真聆聽，并試圖搞清楚是什么讓他們這么生氣。也許你也在偷偷地評判他們應不應該這么生氣。
And maybe you even offer some suggestions. Now, in that moment, you are doing essentially what I get to do every day, because I'm an anger researcher, and as an anger researcher, I spend a good part of my professional life -- who am I kidding, also my personal life --
也許你甚至會提供一些建議。在那個時刻，你們在做的事情基本是我每天都要做的，因為我是一個研究憤怒的人，作為一個憤怒研究者，我花費了職業(yè)生涯大部分的時間——開什么玩笑，也是我個人的大部分時間——
studying why people get mad. I study the types of thoughts they have when they get mad, and I even study what they do when they get mad, whether it's getting into fights or breaking things, or even yelling at people in all caps on the internet.
來研究人們?yōu)槭裁瓷鷼?。我研究了他們生氣時的所有想法，我甚至還研究了當他們生氣時的行為，不管是開始打架或者摔東西，或者是用全部大寫的強調語氣對著網友大罵一通。
And as you can imagine, when people hear I'm an anger researcher, they want to talk to me about their anger, they want to share with me their anger stories. And it's not because they need a therapist, though that does sometimes happen, it's really because anger is universal. It's something we all feel and it's something they can relate to.
所以你可以想象當人們知道我是一個憤怒研究者時，他們想要跟我聊聊他們的憤怒，他們想要跟我分享他們的憤怒故事。這不是因為他們需要一個心理醫(yī)師，雖然有時候的確是這樣，但事實上是因為憤怒是普遍的。這是我們都能感覺到而且都能理解的某種東西。
We've been feeling it since the first few months of life, when we didn't get what we wanted in our cries of protests, things like, 'What do you mean you won't pick up the rattle, Dad, I want it!'
我們從出生的前幾個月就開始感受到憤怒了，就比如當我們在無法得到我們想要的東西時，我們抗議地哭泣，就像是說“你為啥不拿撥浪鼓啊老爸？我要它！”
We feel it throughout our teenage years, as my mom can certainly attest to with me. Sorry, Mom. We feel it to the very end. In fact, anger has been with us at some of the worst moments of our lives. It's a natural and expected part of our grief.
我們在青少年歲月中一直在感受它，老媽可以給我作證。對不住啦，老媽。我們一直到生命的盡頭都一直在感受它。事實上，憤怒在我們人生中一些最糟糕的時刻都如影隨形。這是在我們人生中一種自然且可預見的部分。
But it's also been with us in some of the best moments of our lives, with those special occasions like weddings and vacations often marred by these everyday frustrations -- bad weather, travel delays -- that feel horrible in the moment, but then are ultimately forgotten when things go OK.
但是，它在我們人生中某些最好的時刻也同樣如影隨形，比如在婚禮或者假期等特殊場合中通常會被一些時常發(fā)生的意外壞了興致——比如壞天氣，旅途中的延誤——在這些時候我們都感覺很糟糕，但是這些不愉快的事情最終總會在事情好轉后被忘記。
I have a lot of conversations with people about their anger and it's through those conversations that I've learned that many people, and I bet many people in this room right now, you see anger as a problem. You see the way it interferes in your life, the way it damages relationships, maybe even the ways it's scary.
我和許多人進行了很多關于他們的憤怒的談話，在這些談話之中我認識到，在很多人心里，我可以打賭，就現在這個房間中的很多人，憤怒被你們看做是一個問題。你們認為憤怒干擾了你們的生活，它破壞了人際關系，甚至可能你們認為它很嚇人。
And while I get all of that, I see anger a little differently, and today, I want to tell you something really important about your anger, and it's this: anger is a powerful and healthy force in your life. It's good that you feel it. You need to feel it.
在我理解你們這些觀點的同時，我對憤怒的看法有一點不同，今天，我要告訴你們一些真的很重要的關乎你們的憤怒的事情，是這樣的：憤怒是我們生活中一種強大而又健康的力量。你能感覺到它，這很好。你需要去感受它。
But to understand all that, we actually have to back up and talk about why we get mad in the first place. A lot of this goes back to the work of an anger researcher named Dr. Jerry Deffenbacher, who wrote about this back in 1996 in a book chapter on how to deal with problematic anger. Now, for most of us, and I bet most of you, it feels as simple as this: I get mad when I'm provoked.
但是，若想要完全理解它，我們需要退一步，先來談一談為什么我們會生氣。這個話題的很大一部分要追溯到一位憤怒研究者的著作。JerryDeffenbacher博士在1996年寫了這本關于憤怒這方面的書，在該書的一個章節(jié)里面他提到了如何處理有問題的憤怒。對于我們中的大部分來說，，我敢打賭你們中的大部分人對于憤怒的感覺是這樣：當我被激怒時，我會變得很生氣。
You hear it in the language people use. They say things like, 'It makes me so mad when people drive this slow,' or, 'I got mad because she left the milk out again.' Or my favorite, 'I don't have an anger problem -- people just need to stop messing with me.'
你會在人們所用的語言中感受到它。他們會說這樣的話，“那些人開車開得這么慢，讓我好生氣！”或者說，“我這么生氣是因為她又忘了把牛奶放回冰箱！”我最愛這種說法，“我沒有憤怒的問題——只希望其他人不要再干預我的事了?！?/p>
Now, in the spirit of better understanding those types of provocations, I ask a lot of people, including my friends and colleagues and even family, 'What are the things that really get to you? What makes you mad?' By the way, now is a good time to point out one of the advantages of being an anger researcher is that I've spent more than a decade generating a comprehensive list of all the things that really irritate my colleagues. Just in case I need it.
回到現在，為了更好地理解這些讓人惱怒的類型，我問了很多人，包括我的朋友，同事，甚至是家人，“什么事情能真的惹到你？什么能讓你特別生氣？”順便說一下，現在是一個很好的時機來指出作為一名憤怒研究人員的一個優(yōu)勢，那就是我花了十多年的時間，列出了所有真正讓我的同事感到憤怒的事情。以防萬一我要用到。
But their answers are fascinating, because they say things like, 'when my sports team loses,' 'people who chew too loudly.' That is surprisingly common, by the way. 'People who walk too slowly,' that one's mine. And of course, 'roundabouts.' Roundabouts --
但他們所給出的答案十分有趣，因為他們給出的答案是：“當我喜歡的隊伍輸了我生氣，”“那些人吃飯吧唧嘴讓我生氣?！表槑б惶?，這是十分普遍的答案?！澳切┤俗呗诽屛疑鷼狻?，這是我的答案。還有，“說話拐彎抹角讓我生氣”。拐彎抹角——
I can tell you honestly, there is no rage like roundabout rage.
我可以坦誠的說，世界上沒有一種憤怒比得上對說話拐彎抹角的怒氣！
Sometimes their answers aren't minor at all. Sometimes they talk about racism and sexism and bullying and environmental destruction -- big, global problems we all face. But sometimes, their answers are very specific, maybe even oddly specific. 'That wet line you get across your shirt when you accidentally lean against the counter of a public bathroom.'
有的時候他們的答案非常重要。有時候他們的答案涉及到種族歧視，性別歧視和霸凌，還有環(huán)境破壞——這些都是我們所要共同面對的全球性重要問題。但有時候，他們的答案十分詳細，甚至詳細得不同尋常?！爱斈阋徊恍⌒目吭诹斯苍∈业墓衽_上，那條留在你衣服上的水漬令人十分惱火?！?/p>
Super gross, right?
超級惡心，對不對？
Or 'Flash drives: there's only two ways to plug them in, so why does it always take me three tries?'
或者說“U盤這東西，只有兩種方式插進去，為什么它老是要我試三次才能插進去呢？”
Now whether it's minor or major, whether it's general or specific, we can look at these examples and we can tease out some common themes. We get angry in situations that are unpleasant, that feel unfair, where our goals are blocked, that could have been avoided, and that leave us feeling powerless. This is a recipe for anger.
無論這些問題重要與否，不管它詳細與否，我們都可以通過研究這些樣本挖掘出一些共同的主題。我們在令人不愉快的情況下會生氣，在感到不公時，在無法達到目標的情況下會生氣，尤其是當這些都可以避免，讓我們感覺到無力時我們會生氣。這就是憤怒的組成。
But you can also tell that anger is probably not the only thing we're feeling in these situations. Anger doesn't happen in a vacuum. We can feel angry at the same time that we're scared or sad, or feeling a host of other emotions.
但是你也可以分辨出憤怒也許不是我們在這些場景中所感受到的唯一東西。憤怒不會憑空而來。我們在感到害怕或者傷心的同時會感到憤怒，或者當感受到一大堆其他情緒的同時。
But here's the thing: these provocations -- they aren't making us mad. At least not on their own, and we know that, because if they were, we'd all get angry over the same things, and we don't. The reasons I get angry are different than the reasons you get angry, so there's got to be something else going on. What is that something else? Well, we know what we're doing and feeling at the moment of that provocation matters.
但是要注意一點：這些刺激其實并不會讓我們生氣。至少不是唯一的原因，因為我們知道，如果它們是生氣的原因，我們會一直因為同一件事情而生氣，但是我們并沒有。我生氣的理由和你的不同，所以一定有其它因素在起作用。這些因素是什么呢？在受到刺激的時候，我們知道自己的行為和想法。
We call this the pre-anger state -- are you hungry, are you tired, are you anxious about something else, are you running late for something? When you're feeling those things, those provocations feel that much worse. But what matters most is not the provocation, it's not the pre-anger state, it's this: it's how we interpret that provocation, it's how we make sense of it in our lives.
我們將這種狀態(tài)稱作“預生氣狀態(tài)”——你餓嗎？你累嗎？你對其他事物感到焦慮嗎？你快要遲到了嗎？當你感受到了這些事情的時候，你會對這些刺激因素感覺更糟糕。但是最重要的不是這些挑因素，也不是“預生氣狀態(tài)”，而是這個：是我們如何去理解這些挑釁，是我們在生活中如何去理解它。
When something happens to us, we first decide, is this good or bad? Is it fair or unfair, is it blameworthy, is it punishable? That's primary appraisal, it's when you evaluate the event itself. We decide what it means in the context of our lives and once we've done that, we decide how bad it is. That's secondary appraisal. We say, 'Is this the worst thing that's ever happened, or can I cope with this?
當我們遭遇了一些事情的時候，我們首先會思考，這是好事還是壞事？這是公平的嗎？是應該受到譴責和懲罰的嗎？當你對這件事本身進行評估時，這就是最原始的評估。我們基于人生的經歷去理解這件事情的意義，并且只要我們完成這個過程，就可以定義這件事情糟糕的程度。這是第二級的評估。我們在考慮，“這是有史以來最糟糕的事情嗎？我可以應付得了嗎？”
Now, to illustrate that, I want you to imagine you are driving somewhere. And before I go any further, I should tell you, if I were an evil genius and I wanted to create a situation that was going to make you mad, that situation would look a lot like driving.
為了說明這一點，我想讓大家想象一下你正在開車去某個地方。我要先提醒你，如果我是一個邪惡的天才，而且我想創(chuàng)造一個能讓你惱怒的情境，這個情境看起來會和開車很像。
It's true. You are, by definition, on your way somewhere, so everything that happens -- traffic, other drivers, road construction -- it feels like it's blocking your goals. There are all these written and unwritten rules of the road, and those rules are routinely violated right in front of you, usually without consequence. And who's violating those rules? Anonymous others, people you will never see again, making them a very easy target for your wrath.
這是真的。按照假設，你在去某個地方的路上，所以在途中所發(fā)生的一切——堵車，其他司機，道路施工——都像是在阻礙你去往目的地。在路上也有很多明文規(guī)定的或者約定俗成的規(guī)矩，但這些規(guī)則都經常在你面前被其他人違反，違規(guī)后通常是沒有后果的。誰在違反規(guī)則呢？不知名的其他人，你永遠不會再見第二次的人，很容易就讓他們變成了你怒氣發(fā)泄的目標。
So you're driving somewhere, thus teed up to be angry, and the person in front of you is driving well below the speed limit. And it's frustrating because you can't really see why they're driving so slow. That's primary appraisal. You've looked at this and you've said it's bad and it's blameworthy. But maybe you also decide it's not that big a deal. You're not in a hurry, doesn't matter. That's secondary appraisal -- you don't get angry.
所以，如果你正在開車去某個地方，你會準備變得生氣，并且在你前面的那個人的速度遠遠低于限速。這很讓人不滿，因為你真的不理解他們?yōu)槭裁撮_得這么慢。這就是初始的評估。你關注到了這一件事，并且你已經判斷出了這是件壞事，值得被責備。但你也可能判斷這不是那么嚴重。你不急，沒關系。這是第二級的評估——你不會生氣。
But now imagine you're on your way to a job interview. What that person is doing, it hasn't changed, right? So primary appraisal doesn't change; still bad, still blameworthy. But your ability to cope with it sure does. Because all of a sudden, you're going to be late to that job interview. All of a sudden, you are not going to get your dream job, the one that was going to give you piles and piles of money.
但現在想象一下你在去一個工作面試的路上。那個人行為并沒有發(fā)生變化，對嗎？所以初級評估并沒有變化，還是壞的，還是值得責備的。但是你去應對它的能力一定發(fā)生了變化。因為突然之間，你就要在工作面試中遲到了。突然之間，你可能得不到自己夢想的工作了，那個能夠給你一沓又一沓錢的工作啊。
Somebody else is going to get your dream job and you're going to be broke. You're going to be destitute. Might as well stop now, turn around, move in with your parents.
其他人將要拿到這份工作了，然后你就要破產了。你就要成為窮苦人家了。也許要現在停下來，轉身回去，和你的爸媽一起住。
Why? 'Because of this person in front of me. This is not a person, this is a monster.'
為什么呢？“因為這個在我前面慢慢開的人。他不是人啊，是個魔鬼??！”
And this monster is here just to ruin your life.
而且這個怪獸的出現就是為了毀掉你的生活。
Now that thought process, it's called catastrophizing, the one where we make the worst of things. And it's one of the primary types of thoughts that we know is associated with chronic anger. But there's a couple of others. Misattributing causation.
這個思考的過程叫做災難化，它是我們把事情做到最糟糕的情況。并且它是我們所知道的與長期憤怒聯系在一起的主要思考方式之一。但還有其他幾種類型。比如，錯誤歸因：
Angry people tend to put blame where it doesn't belong. Not just on people, but actually inanimate objects as well. And if you think that sound ridiculous, think about the last time you lost your car keys and you said, 'Where did those car keys go?' Because you know they ran off on their own.
憤怒的人們常常責備毫不相關的事情。不僅僅是針對人，也針對無生命的物體上。如果你覺得這聽起來很可笑，想想上次你丟了車鑰匙的時候，你說“車鑰匙滾哪去了？”因為你知道它們是自己走丟的。
They tend to overgeneralize, they use words like 'always,' 'never,' 'every,' 'this always happens to me,' 'I never get what I want' or 'I hit every stoplight on the way here today.' Demandingness: they put their own needs ahead of the needs of others:
憤怒的人們傾向于過度歸納，他們用一些像“經?！薄皬牟弧?，“每一次都”，“這永遠都發(fā)生在我身上”，“我從來得不到我要的”或者“我今天遇到了路上所有的紅燈！”之類的話。又比如，過度苛責：憤怒的人將他們自己的需求放在他人需求之前：
'I don't care why this person is driving so slow, they need to speed up or move over so I can get to this job interview.' And finally, inflammatory labeling. They call people fools, idiots, monsters, or a whole bunch of things I've been told I'm not allowed to say during this TED Talk.
“我不關心這個人為什么開得這么慢，他需要加速或者挪開，這樣我就可以按時參加面試！”最后一個，給人貼使人激怒的標簽。他們叫其他人傻子，蠢貨，怪獸，或者一大堆今天在演講中我不能公開說的東西。
So for a long time, psychologists have referred to these as cognitive distortions or even irrational beliefs. And yeah, sometimes they are irrational. Maybe even most of the time. But sometimes, these thoughts are totally rational. There is unfairness in the world. There are cruel, selfish people, and it's not only OK to be angry when we're treated poorly, it's right to be angry when we're treated poorly.
所以，在很長一段時間里，心理學家把這些稱為認知扭曲，或者甚至是不合邏輯的信念。的確是啊，他們本身有時候就是不合邏輯的。也許甚至是大多數時候。但是有時候，他們的想法又是完全符合邏輯的。世界上的確有不公平。的確有殘忍的，自私的人，當我們被惡劣地對待時，變得生氣不僅僅是可以接受的，更是正確的。
If there's one thing I want you to remember from my talk today, it's this: your anger exists in you as an emotion because it offered your ancestors, both human and nonhuman, with an evolutionary advantage. Just as your fear alerts you to danger, your anger alerts you to injustice. It's one of the ways your brain communicates to you that you have had enough.
今天我想讓你們記住的就是：你的憤怒作為一種情緒存在，因為它為你的祖先——不管是人類還是猿人——提供了一個進化優(yōu)勢。就像你的害怕讓你對危險保持警惕一樣，你的憤怒讓你對不公正的情況保持警惕。這是你的大腦告訴你，你已經受夠了的一種方式。
What's more, it energizes you to confront that injustice. Think for a second about the last time you got mad. Your heart rate increased. Your breathing increased, you started to sweat. That's your sympathetic nervous system, otherwise known as your fight-or-flight system, kicking in to offer you the energy you need to respond. And that's just the stuff you noticed.
更重要的是，憤怒激發(fā)了你去對抗這種不公正。想一想上一次你很生氣的時候。你的心跳加速。你的呼吸加速，你開始冒汗。這是你的交感神經系統(tǒng)，又被稱為逃跑或戰(zhàn)斗反應系統(tǒng)，正在介入來為你提供在反應時所需要的能量。這些只是你意識到的部分。
At the same time, your digestive system slowed down so you could conserve energy. That's why your mouth went dry. And your blood vessels dilated to get blood to your extremities. That's why your face went red. It's all part of this complex pattern of physiological experiences that exist today because they helped your ancestors deal with cruel and unforgiving forces of nature.
與此同時，你的消化系統(tǒng)放緩來為你儲存能量。這就是為什么你會口干。你的血管擴張，將血液輸送到你的四肢。這就是為什么你面紅耳赤。這些所有生理上的復雜變化延續(xù)到了今天，因為它們幫助了你的祖先去和殘酷的、不宜生存的大自然力量抗爭。
And the problem is that the thing your ancestors did to deal with their anger, to physically fight, they are no longer reasonable or appropriate. You can't and you shouldn't swing a club every time you're provoked.
但問題在于，你的祖先為了應對憤怒以及戰(zhàn)斗所做的事情，這些現在都不再是合理或者合適的表現。你不能而且也不應該在每一次被挑釁的時候都強烈反擊。
But here's the good news. You are capable of something your nonhuman ancestors weren't capable of. And that is the capacity to regulate your emotions. Even when you want to lash out, you can stop yourself and you can channel that anger into something more productive.
但是好消息是，你能做到某些祖先做不到的某些事情。這就是管理你情緒的能力。就算你想要咆哮的時候，你也可以讓自己停下來，并且將憤怒轉換成更有成效的東西。
So often when we talk about anger, we talk about how to keep from getting angry. We tell people to calm down or relax. We even tell people to let it go. And all of that assumes that anger is bad and that it's wrong to feel it.
所以當我們談到憤怒的時候，我們總是講如何防止生氣。我們告訴其他人要冷靜，放松。我們甚至告訴他們要學會放手。這些都建立在憤怒是不好的，我們不應該去感受到它的假設上。
But instead, I like to think of anger as a motivator. The same way your thirst motivates you to get a drink of water, the same way your hunger motivates you to get a bite to eat, your anger can motivate you to respond to injustice. Because we don't have to think too hard to find things we should be mad about. When we go back to the beginning, yeah, some of those things, they're silly and not worth getting angry over.
其實不然，我傾向于把憤怒想作一種動力。就像你覺得口渴是你去喝水的動力，就像你感覺到餓是你去吃東西的動力，你的憤怒是你對不正義做出反應的動力。正因為我們不用太費神去找到讓我們生氣的東西?；氐介_始的話題，的確，有些事情實在是太傻了，不值得我們去生氣。
But racism, sexism, bullying, environmental destruction, those things are real, those things are terrible, and the only way to fix them is to get mad first and then channel that anger into fighting back. And you don't have to fight back with aggression or hostility or violence.
但是種族歧視，性別歧視，霸凌，環(huán)境破壞，這些事情是真實存在的，也是是很可怕的，想要解決它們的唯一辦法，首先就是要生氣，然后將這種憤怒轉化為回擊的力量。并且，你不需要帶著侵略性，敵對性或者暴力去回擊。
There are infinite ways that you can express your anger. You can protest, you can write letters to the editor, you can donate to and volunteer for causes, you can create art, you can create literature, you can create poetry and music, you can create a community that cares for one another and does not allow those atrocities to happen.
有很多辦法來讓你表達憤怒。你可以上街游行，你可以寫信給新聞社編輯，你可以捐贈并為這個事業(yè)做志愿服務，你可以創(chuàng)作藝術，你可以創(chuàng)作文學作品，你可以創(chuàng)作音樂與詩歌，你可以創(chuàng)造一個互相關照的社區(qū)，不允許這些暴行發(fā)生。
So the next time you feel yourself getting angry, instead of trying to turn it off, I hope you'll listen to what that anger is telling you. And then I hope you'll channel it into something positive and productive.
所以，下一次你感覺到你自己在生氣時，與其嘗試平息憤怒，不如讓我們一起傾聽，你的憤怒在告訴你什么。我希望大家能把這憤怒轉換成一些積極的，有生產力的情緒。
Thank you.
謝謝。
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