I worry about things more than I’d like to.
我對(duì)很多事情過(guò)于擔(dān)心。
I worry about making mistakes, getting criticized, having my business fail, being awkward or rude in social situations and lots of other things.
我擔(dān)心犯錯(cuò)，擔(dān)心被責(zé)備，擔(dān)心公司倒閉，擔(dān)心在社交場(chǎng)合出丑或不夠禮貌，此外還有很多。
Most of the time my worries just stay in my head. They’re there, but I ignore them well enough to get on with my day and keep working.
大部分時(shí)候這些擔(dān)心只停留在我的腦袋里。它們存在，但我能很好地忽略它們，從而繼續(xù)工作和生活。
Other times, those worries grip me and derail my progress. I struggled immensely with big parts of writing my upcoming book. My own expectations (and imagined attacks) made starting the writing portion of each chapter a strenuous chore.
但另一些時(shí)候，這些擔(dān)心攫住了我的心神，阻礙了我的工作進(jìn)程。我在寫新書的大塊內(nèi)容時(shí)都要奮力掙扎，自己的期望（以及想象出來(lái)的別人的攻擊）讓開始每一章的寫作都成為一件困難的事。
I don’t think my level of anxiety is unusual or extreme. I don’t get panic attacks, and I haven’t had anxiety debilitate my life the way it does for many. That said, I’ve tried a lot of things to make it easier. Here’s what’s worked for me.
我不認(rèn)為我的焦慮水平不正?；蜻_(dá)到了極端的程度，也沒(méi)有感到恐慌，也不像很多人那樣，讓焦慮影響了我的生活。盡管如此，我依然嘗試了很多辦法減輕焦慮，以下是對(duì)我有效的方式。
Most problems in life are stubborn, rather than complicated. Thus we tend to spend our lives fighting against the same problems over and over. Progress is possible, but at the same time, our old foes are rarely completely vanquished.
Overcoming worrying isn’t a trivial issue. But it there are strategies you can use to lessen the impact.
I’ve found meditation helpful, not so much for the actual meditation itself, but for the idea of what meditation tries to accomplish and to apply the same abstract principles to my ordinary life.
我發(fā)現(xiàn)冥想很有幫助，并不是冥想實(shí)際的過(guò)程本身有多大用處，而是冥想想要實(shí)現(xiàn)什么的思想有用，并將同樣的抽象原則應(yīng)用到我日常的生活中。
One of the core ideas of Buddhist philosophy is anatman, or not-self. The idea essentially boils down to reviewing everything in your conscious experience and recognizing that you don’t have control over it.
佛學(xué)的核心思想之一就是無(wú)我。這種思想本質(zhì)上可以歸結(jié)為，回顧你清醒經(jīng)歷過(guò)的每件事，然后承認(rèn)你無(wú)法控制它。
It’s easy to see your thoughts as part of yourself. Something you create and control. It can therefore be frustrating when you can’t help yourself from worrying.
很容易認(rèn)為你的思想是你自身的一部分，是你創(chuàng)造并可以控制的東西。因此當(dāng)你無(wú)法擺脫焦慮時(shí)就會(huì)感到挫敗。
Another way of looking at it, however, is that thoughts just happen. They are a sensory experience, not part of you. Thoughts comes from inside your head, but otherwise they’re as much under your control as what you see, hear or feel from the outside world.
然而，另一種看待的方式是，那些焦慮的想法就是會(huì)發(fā)生。它們是一種感官體驗(yàn)，而不是你自身的一部分。思想來(lái)自你的頭腦內(nèi)部，但在其他方面，它們和你看到、聽到或感受到的外部世界一樣，不在你的控制之下。
Denying ownership of a thought gives you a choice not to grab onto it. Just like how you might have an annoying sound in the background and choose to ignore it because there’s nothing you can do, you can similarly have a distracting, negative thought and choose to do nothing about it.
否認(rèn)你擁有一種想法，使你可以避免抓著這種想法不放。就好像有一種惱人的背景音，而你可以選擇置之不理，因?yàn)榉凑矡o(wú)可奈何；類似地，當(dāng)你有一種負(fù)面的、令你分神的想法時(shí)，也可以選擇對(duì)它置之不理。
This approach is different because most of us spend our time trying to “stop” ourselves from worrying (which makes it worse), or try to “solve” the worry by imagining a way to avoid the threat. It’s easy to forget that there’s a third option: do nothing.
這個(gè)方法的不同之處在于，我們大多數(shù)人都把時(shí)間花在了讓自己“停止”擔(dān)心上（這反而使事情更糟），或試圖通過(guò)想象一種方式避免威脅來(lái)“解決”所擔(dān)心的問(wèn)題。很容易忘記其實(shí)還有第三種選擇：什么都不做。
Facing down your fears is good. But there’s a difference between healthy exposure to things that give you anxiety, and indulging in a non-stop download of algorithmically-optimized information designed to trigger your threat response.
戰(zhàn)勝恐懼是件好事，但健康地面對(duì)那些給你造成焦慮的事情，和沉湎于無(wú)止境地接收社交媒體經(jīng)過(guò)算法優(yōu)化的、有意要激起你面對(duì)威脅的反應(yīng)的信息，這兩者之間是有區(qū)別的。
Twitter is my vice of choice. I love being able to engage with smart people from around the world on interesting topics. More than once I’ve learned fascinating new things. But the platform is also a nightmare for throwing up things that make you feel angry or anxious.
推特是我的一個(gè)不好的選擇。我喜歡能夠與全世界的聰明人就有趣的話題進(jìn)行交流，并且我不止一次學(xué)到了很棒的新東西。但這個(gè)平臺(tái)也是一個(gè)噩夢(mèng)，因?yàn)樗粩鄟G出讓你感到憤怒或焦慮的東西。
I now believe that resiliency must be matched with choosing appropriate environments. Mute the people and sources that make you feel worried. Especially if those are the people on “your side.”
我現(xiàn)在認(rèn)為恢復(fù)力必須與選擇正確的環(huán)境相匹配。屏蔽那些讓你感到焦慮的人和信息來(lái)源，尤其是那些“你身邊”的人。
Not all anxieties are recurring. You may worry that you said something weird to that person one time, and forget about it a few days later. Others, however, have consistent themes and show up again and again.
不是所有讓人焦慮的事情都會(huì)反復(fù)發(fā)生。你可能擔(dān)心自己有次對(duì)那個(gè)人說(shuō)了不合適的話，但過(guò)幾天就忘了。然而，有一些焦慮的內(nèi)容是持續(xù)的問(wèn)題，會(huì)一次又一次地出現(xiàn)。
One of mine is definitely being criticized for my work or projects. Over the last thirteen years I’ve said and done a lot. A lot of the things I’ve said or decisions I made have probably been wrong. Thus, anyone with an axe to grind against me would have plenty of material to make an attack.
一個(gè)讓我持續(xù)焦慮的內(nèi)容肯定要算自己的工作或項(xiàng)目遭到批評(píng)。在過(guò)去十三年里，我說(shuō)了很多，也做了很多。我說(shuō)的很多話，或者做出的很多決定，有可能是錯(cuò)誤的。因此，任何提著斧子想要找我麻煩的人，都有大量可供他們攻擊的素材。
This worry has often been stoked by seeing highly-public cases of someone having their career ruined because of a relatively innocent mistake. I remember puzzling over the downfall of Jonah Lehrer, whose sky-rocketing writing career was torn down over misquoting Bob Dylan. I agree he made some mistakes, but the punishment didn’t match the crime.
有人因?yàn)橄鄬?duì)無(wú)關(guān)緊要的小錯(cuò)誤而毀了自己的事業(yè)，看到這種廣受關(guān)注的案例，就會(huì)點(diǎn)燃我的擔(dān)心。我記得曾對(duì)喬納·雷爾（Jonah Lehrer）從高處跌落百思不得其解，他如日中天的寫作事業(yè)因?yàn)殄e(cuò)誤地引用了鮑勃·迪倫而遭到詆毀。我同意他犯了一些錯(cuò)誤，但遭到的懲罰太重了。
Although I can’t simulate a career-ending mistake without making one, I’ve tried to attenuate my own fears of criticism by going out and reading it. When I do, the attacks are rarely as bad as the ones I imagine. Even from people who hate me (one guy even created a website saying why he hated me), the reality is usually easier than my imagination.
盡管我沒(méi)法在不犯一個(gè)終結(jié)自己事業(yè)的錯(cuò)誤的情況下去模擬這種情形，但我試圖通過(guò)走出去閱讀別人的批評(píng)來(lái)緩解我對(duì)批評(píng)的恐懼。當(dāng)我這樣做時(shí)，看到的攻訐很少有我想象的那樣嚴(yán)重。即使是來(lái)自那些討厭我的人（有個(gè)人甚至還建了一個(gè)網(wǎng)站說(shuō)明他為什么討厭我）的攻擊，現(xiàn)實(shí)也比我想象的容易得多。
Your fears may be different. It might be failing a big test, getting fired or being humiliated. Seeking mild exposure to those things you fear is often the only way to diminish their intensity.
你害怕的內(nèi)容可能不同，或許是害怕一次大型考試的失敗，害怕被解雇，或害怕丟臉。想辦法適度地面對(duì)你害怕的那些事，通常是降低恐懼程度的唯一方式。
My friend, a clinical psychologist, told me that one of the big mistakes people make to deal with anxiety is seeking reassurance. You worry, so naturally you want to talk to someone who will tell you everything will be okay.
我的一位臨床心理學(xué)家朋友告訴我，人們?cè)趹?yīng)對(duì)焦慮時(shí)犯的一個(gè)大錯(cuò)，就是試圖尋求安慰。你很擔(dān)心，所以很自然地，你想要找個(gè)人聊一聊，讓他告訴你，一切都會(huì)好起來(lái)的。
While this does make you feel better for a short time, it actually makes it worse later. By “rewarding” your anxious mental patterns with reassurance, you strengthen this pattern of behavior through negative reinforcement.
盡管這在短時(shí)間內(nèi)會(huì)讓你覺(jué)得更好，但事實(shí)上之后會(huì)讓事情變得更糟。對(duì)你焦慮的思維模式“回報(bào)”以安慰，你通過(guò)負(fù)強(qiáng)化增強(qiáng)了這種行為模式。
Similarly, you can have the same issue when trying to “solve” your worries. If you’re have anxious thoughts about someone humiliating you at work, you might fantasize your comeback.
類似地，當(dāng)你試圖“解決”自己擔(dān)心的事情時(shí)，也會(huì)有同樣的問(wèn)題。如果你焦慮有人會(huì)在工作上羞辱你，那么就可能幻想自己會(huì)如何反擊。
The alternative approach, suggested by my friend, was to resist the temptation to find a way out of your problem. It will make your anxiety worse, but because there’s no “resolution”, the pattern that led to your anxiety is reduced.
我朋友所建議的另一個(gè)辦法，是抵制想要解決問(wèn)題的沖動(dòng)。這會(huì)讓你的焦慮更嚴(yán)重，但因?yàn)闆](méi)有“解決之道”，你焦慮的思維模式就被削弱了。
This model suggests that anxiety is a motivation with a clear purpose. That purpose is to identify threats and formulate solutions to them. When the goal of this feeling is frustrated, the response is weakened for the next time.
這個(gè)模型認(rèn)為，焦慮是一種動(dòng)機(jī)，有著清晰的目的，即識(shí)別出威脅并形成解決方案。當(dāng)這種感受的目標(biāo)沒(méi)能實(shí)現(xiàn)時(shí)，下次這種回應(yīng)就被削弱了。
I got an email from a reader who also struggles with anxiety, and said that although he can see from a distant perspective that many of his anxieties are irrational, he can’t so easily separate the legitimate worries from the ridiculous ones when they’re afflicting him.
我收到一封讀者的來(lái)信，他正受到焦慮的困擾。雖然拉開一點(diǎn)距離后，他能意識(shí)到自己的許多焦慮都是不合理的，但深陷焦慮的折磨之中時(shí)，他無(wú)法容易地區(qū)分出合理的焦慮與沒(méi)有依據(jù)的焦慮。
A behavior that is bad 100% of the time is much easier to break off as a habit than one which is beneficial some of the time. When you quit smoking, you can go cold turkey. When you want to quit overeating, you can’t stop eating food. Similarly, some anxiety is probably a good thing. But too much can be crippling.
如果一個(gè)行為100%的時(shí)間都是有害的，那么相比于那些時(shí)而有益時(shí)而有害的行為，戒斷前者要容易得多。當(dāng)你戒煙時(shí)，你可以干脆利落地完全戒斷；而當(dāng)你想要戒掉吃得過(guò)多時(shí)，你無(wú)法停止攝入食物。類似地，有些焦慮可能本身是一件好事，但過(guò)多的焦慮就會(huì)讓人吃不消。
What this reader wanted to be able to do was to figure out which fears were rational and which were not, in the moment, so as to ignore the irrational ones.
這位讀者當(dāng)時(shí)想要實(shí)現(xiàn)的是，能夠弄明白哪些恐懼是合理的，哪些是不合理的，從而可以忽略不合理的那些。
You can’t separate out the “rational” worries from the irrational ones.
你無(wú)法從不合理的焦慮中分離出“合理的”焦慮。
Most of your anxieties, even the ones you should have less of, do have a rational basis. The things I fear are not things that are totally without merit, although I should probably worry about them less than I do typically.
你的大多數(shù)焦慮，即使是你應(yīng)該減少的焦慮，都有合理的基礎(chǔ)。我所害怕的事情并不是完全一無(wú)是處，盡管我應(yīng)該比通常所做的減少一些擔(dān)心。
Instead of asking whether something is irrational, ask if you should change your behavior. When a worry can’t change your response, it’s not helpful, even if it might be rational.
與其問(wèn)某件事是不是合理，不如問(wèn)你是否應(yīng)該改變自己的行為。當(dāng)擔(dān)心也無(wú)法改變你做出的回應(yīng)時(shí)，它就是沒(méi)有幫助的，即使那可能是合理的擔(dān)心。
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