#EachforEqualWei Huadong tellsthestoryofhis mother #每個人的平等#EachforEqual 韋華東的等號手勢 Wei Huadong in hands-out equal pose 韋華東分享的故事中的中文以及照片均由他本人提供。作為這項活動的發(fā)起者陶理(本名:繆鑫,英文名:Hermione,陶理是筆名)在征得他同意的基礎上,按照一段中文、一段英文的格式進行了翻譯,并對段落布局做了符合手機閱讀的排版,最后附上了個人評論。The story in Chinese as well as the photos are all provided by Wei Huadong. And with his consent, the campaign organiser Hermione translated each paragraph and edited the content for reading via phone. It ends with Hermione's comment. 冬天里的花束The flower bouquets in the winter 1 每年過年的時候,我都會給兩三個要好的朋友訂幾束花。每一束花都會依據(jù)我對該同事的了解、性格的判斷來選擇色彩和種類。其中有送給領導的,也有送給不在身邊,卻常在心里的朋友。送給領導是為了感謝一年來他給我的幫助,能遇到一個志同道合且愿意聽你傾訴的領導實屬不易。送給不常見的朋友是因為想讓他(她)知道生活中依然會有許多驚喜。 Everytime near the Chinese New Year, I order a few flower bouquets for two or three good friends. I choose choose the color and type of flowers based on my understanding of this person's personality. Some of the flowers are for my leaders, and some for friends who are not around but I always think of them. Sending flowers to my leader is to thank him for his help over the past year. It is not easy to meet a like-minded leader who is willing to listen to you. Sending flowers to friends I do not usually meet is because I want to let him or her know that life still prepares many surprises for them. 但讓人遺憾的是,我從來沒有買過一束鮮花給老媽。記得從我小時候起,父母一直過著很節(jié)儉的生活。對老媽而言,讓她最享受的精神生活,就是把收集來的碎布料,拼接成色彩斑斕的坐墊;或在孩子們破了洞的舊衣服上,施展她以舊變新、精致巧妙的刺繡技能。媽媽的審美永遠與實用主義聯(lián)系在一起。若是脫離了實用需求,所有單純的審美都應該算是一種奢侈和浪費,都應該受到嚴厲的指責和批判。 Unfortunately, I never bought a bouquet of flowers for my mother. I remember that my parents have been living a frugal life since I was a kid. For my mother, the most enjoyable spiritual life, is to stitch the collected scraps of fabric into colorful cushions; or to make the children's old clothes to become new, by applying her delicate and clever embroidery skills on the old clothes. Her aesthetic standards are always associated with pragmatism. If it is separated from practical needs, all pure aesthetics should be considered a luxury and waste, and should be severely blamed and criticised. 記得有一次,我說要在家里的大廳里掛一水墨畫,費用我來出。結果老媽反駁我一句:“掛什么水墨畫?掛給誰看?這里又沒有藝術家。別人家住豪宅才掛水墨畫。你自己省點,以后買個大點的房子,再娶個老婆。我和你爸這套又老又舊的房子,不用你們操心。”我和老姐站在一旁,一臉的不自在。 I remember once I said I wanted to hang a Chinese ink-and-wash drawing in the lobby of my house, and I would pay for the expense. As a result, my mother retorted me: "What? Hang ink-and-wash drawings? For whom? There are no artists here. Other people who live in luxury house would hang ink-and-wash drawings. Save for yourself, buy a bigger house in the future, and get married. Your father and I live in this old house, no need to worry for us. " My sister and I stood aside, feeling quite uncomfortable. 還有一次,老姐說要幫媽買一套唐裝,等全家人回來過年的時候拍一張全家福。話還沒說完,媽就從箱底里翻出幾年前七大姑八大姨甩給她的一大堆舊衣服,一邊數(shù)落老姐浪費錢,一邊說有幾件衣服成色還不錯,要改給老姐穿。老姐嚇得趕緊躲到廚房里去洗菜。 Another time, my sister said she wanted to help her buy a Tang suit and take a family portrait when the whole family get together for the Chinese New Year. Before she finished her words, my mother took out a bunch of old clothes that the aunties gave to her a few years ago, from the bottom of the wardrobe. While she was blaming my elder sister ever think of wasting money, she also said that some clothes were in good condition. Some dress can be changed into dress for my elder sister. My elder sister was so scared that she hid in the kitchen to wash vegetables. 媽就是這樣的人,她的審美永遠停留在曾經(jīng)的那個年代,她的腦子永遠也逃不出實用主義。如果我買一束花擺在家里,說不定還沒看幾天,老媽會拿著菜刀直接把花剁碎,然后散到院子里去喂雞,畢竟雞肉和雞蛋比花更實在。 My mother is this kind of person, her aesthetics still and will always stay in the past era, and her mind may never escape pragmatism. If I buy a bunch of flowers and put them at home, maybe I will only see it for a few days, my mother will then chop the flowers directly with a kitchen knife, and then scattered to the yard to feed the chicken, after all, chicken and eggs are more tangible than flowers. 令人奇怪的是,老媽的實用主義并沒有剿滅美在我們心中播下的種子。老姐高中畢業(yè)之后,在高校里選讀了服裝設計專業(yè),現(xiàn)在成為一名小學美術老師。我也經(jīng)常收集一些有關地理美育的文獻,并且對大自然中的美很是著迷,如鮮花、山脈、河流、森林什么之類的。我覺得這可能與從小就包圍在我們四周的碎布料有關。媽時常會問姐,這幾塊布配在一起好不好看,遇到此類的問題時,我和姐都會欣然地參與討論。仿佛討論面料上柔美的花色是一件很美好的事。 It is strange that my mother's pragmatism has not wiped out the seeds that beauty has sown in our hearts. After graduating from upper secondary school, my elder sister was enrolled in fashion design major in a university. Now she works as a primary school art teacher. I also often collect some literature on geographic aesthetic education, and I am fascinated by the beauty in nature, such as flowers, mountains, rivers, forests and so on. I think it may have something to do with the shredded cloth that surrounds us from an early age. Mom often asks my sister if these pieces of cloth look good when putting together. When encountering such problems, my sister and I are always willing to participate in the discussion. It seems like a wonderful thing to discuss the soft and beautiful colors on the fabric. 2 隨著生活水平的提高,中國人的生活里開始出現(xiàn)了花店。每次路過花店,我都會駐足品味幾番。不知從什么時候起,我養(yǎng)成了每年過年都會買花的習慣。今年大年三十,我又到常去的那個花店里訂花。 As the living standards improve, flower shops began to appear in the lives of Chinese people. Every time I pass by the flower shop, I tend to stop and appreciate them. I don't know exactly when, now I have the habit of buying flowers every time near the Chinese New Year. In the New Year's Eve of this year, I still went to the regular flower shop again to order flowers. 花店在一個比較老舊的小區(qū),由一間狹小潮濕的雜物房改裝成的,由于臨近街道,再加上不用交一些亂七八糟的費用,所以價格比較便宜。花店的裝修雖然沒有別家那樣考究,但老板娘善良話語融合在一起,本身就是一種享受。 The flower shop is located in an older neighborhood, converted from a small and wet utility room. The price is cheaper because it is close to the street and the shop owner does not have to pay too many fees. Although the decoration of the flower shop is not as sophisticated as other shops, the good words of the shop owner are a treat in itself. 每年老板娘一見我去,就特別高興。我是她的老客,而且每年只來一次。當我走進花店時,看到小店的沙發(fā)上推了一些五顏六色的方塊布料,旁邊還放了做到一半的針線活。我好奇地拿起那個布藝翻來覆去看。店里的小狗見我動了主人的東西,便開始叫個不停。老板娘聞聲從花架的背后探出頭來。 Every time the shop owner meets me, she is very happy. I have been her customer for many years, and I only come once a year. When I walked into the flower shop, I saw some colorful square cloths pushed on the sofa of the shop, and half of the needlework was placed next to it. I curiously picked up the fabric and turned it around. The little puppy in the shop saw me moving the owner's things and started barking constantly. The shop owner heard the sound and stuck her head up from the flower stand. “小伙子,你來了?”蹲在地上的老板娘邊說邊吃力地站起來。由于腿腳不便,再加上腰又出了問題,老板娘險些要摔倒過去。 "Young man, are you here?" The shop owner squatting on the ground said, struggling to stand up. Due to the inconvenience of her legs and feet and the problem of her waist, she almost fell over. 我趕忙上前扶她一把,然后扶她坐到沙發(fā)上?!笆前。襾硪獛资?!” I hurried forward to help her, and then helped her sit on the sofa. "Yeah, I want some flowers!" 每年來花店一次,每次發(fā)現(xiàn)她的身體一年不如一年,今年衰老的速度仿佛比往年都快。白發(fā)、倦容、吃力的呼吸,疊加在堆滿碎布料的背景里,那個畫面讓我感到如此辛酸和熟悉。 I come to the flower shop once a year, and each time I find that her body is not as good as the year before, this year she seems to be aging faster than previous years. The white hair, tiredness, and strenuous breathing, and the background of the pile of shredded cloth, made me feel so bitter and familiar. “阿姨去哪找來那么多漂亮的布頭?打算做什么?”我笑著問。 "Where did you find so many beautiful cloth? What are you going to do?" I asked with a smile. “哦,這些是收集了幾年的舊布頭,扔掉蠻可惜的,今天沒什么客人,所以就拿出來擺弄一下,想做一個抱枕?!?/span> "Oh, these are old cloth heads that have been collected for several years. It is a pity to throw them away. There are no guests today, so I took them out and put them together, I want to make a cushion." “沒什么客人?往年這時候不是最忙的嗎?” "No guests? Wasn't it the busiest this time in previous years?" “是啊!但今年的疫情,誰都不敢出門,更不用說往別人家里送東西了,萬一出了什么問題……唉!我的這些花都不知道該怎么辦!”臉上的焦慮更是增添了她的憔悴。 "Yeah! But this year's epidemic, no one dare to go out, let alone send things to other people's homes, in case something goes wrong ... oh! I don't know what to do with these flowers!" The anxiety on her face has made her look more worn out. “現(xiàn)在的花是什么價?” "What's the price of the flower now?" “你想要的話,我打六折給你吧!但找不到人幫送花。你可以先訂,等疫情稍微緩解一點了,我叫我愛人幫你送出去,你看行嗎?”老板娘的話里帶著幾分懇求。 "If you want, I'll give you a 40% discount! But you can't find someone to help you send flowers. You can order first, and when the epidemic eases a little, I'll ask my partner to send the flowers. Does my plan sounds okay to you?" There was a little pleading in this lady's words. 我想了一會,說:“好吧,我現(xiàn)在買兩束花。一束我先把錢轉給你,等疫情好了你幫我送出去;一束你現(xiàn)在就幫我包好,等會我拿走?!?/span> I thought about it for a while and said, "Okay, I want to buy two bunches of flowers now. I'll transfer the money to you first, and wait for the epidemic, when it is gone, please help me to send it ; as for the other bunch, wrap it for me now, I will take it. " “好的,你等會拿走的花是送給什么人,我?guī)湍氵x一下?!?/span> "Nice, who are you will take the flowers to? I'll choose them for you." “……是……送給我媽媽?!?/span> "... Ah ... for my mother." “你媽媽喜歡什么花?” "What flowers does your mother like?" “我也不知道,我以前從來沒有給我媽買過花?!闭f這句話時我有些慚愧。 "I don't know. I never bought flowers for my mother before." I felt a bit ashamed when I said this. “今年怎么想起要給媽媽買花了?” "How come this idea come to you, to buy flowers for your mother this year?" “因為今年買的花都送不出去,所以只能送給我媽了?!甓际墙o別人送花,自己的老媽都沒送過,這好像有點說不過去?!?/span> "Because I can not send the flowers I bought this year, I can only give them to my mother. ... In the past, I gave flowers to others, but I never send flower to my mum, which seems a bit unjustifiable." “嗯,這個理由不錯?!?/span> "Well, that's a good reason." 老板娘一口氣幫我包了十支高檔的香水百合。 She helped me to pack ten high-end perfume lilies in one bouquet. 按照往年的價,大概要花兩三百塊錢。我這樣拿回家,可能會被家里的人罵死。我連忙叫她抽出幾支。 In view of the price in previous years, it will probably cost two to three hundred yuan. If I take this flower bouquet home, I may be scolded by my family. I quickly asked her to pull out a few. 但老板娘沒這么做,走時她對我說:“去年你來訂花時,忘記拿走一箱果,我打電話給你,你說你在外地,等回到市里這箱果早就壞了。后來你說把那箱果送給我們,祝我們新年快樂,謝謝你。明天起,政府要求我們這條街的所有鋪面關門歇業(yè),這些花放在這里爛掉也很可惜的。你拿回去吧!我只收你五十塊錢。祝你媽媽新年快樂!” But she did not listen to me. When I left, she said to me, "When you ordered flowers last year, you forgot to take a box of fruit. I called you, and you said you were out of town. This box of fruit would go rotten when you returned to this city. Then you said you want us to have the box of fruit, and wish us a Happy New Year, thank you. Starting from tomorrow, the government asks all the shops on this street to close. It is a pity that these flowers will rot if left here. So take them to your home! I only charge you fifty yuan. Happy new year to your mother! " 3 我抱著一大把芬芳四溢的百合穿過骯臟、潮濕、喧囂的菜市,這是離我家最近的一條路。一路上,幾個攤位的小販都用異樣的目光打量我,好像是那束百合讓我與周圍的世界格格不入。我在想,當我到家時,媽會用什么樣的目光打量我。 When I held a large handful of fragrant lilies through the dirty, damp, hustle and bustle of the vegetable market, which is the closest road to my home. Along the way, several stallholders looked at me with a strange look, as if the bunch of lilies made me not a fit with the world around me. I was wondering what kind of look my mother would have when I arrived home. 回到家,我悄悄地推開門。大廳里,媽一個人躺在睡椅上里看電視。我輕輕地從背后走到她的跟前,蹲下來,把那束百合輕輕地放在她的腿上。媽遲鈍地把目光從電視機移到我的臉,我什么都沒說,只是笑著看著媽。媽一臉的疑惑,皺著眉頭奇怪地看著我。對媽的這種反應,我已經(jīng)習慣了。她再也不像年輕時那樣反應靈敏、快言快語。 I came back home and quietly opened the door. In the hall, my mother was lying on a couch by herself and watching TV. I walked gently from her back to come close, squatted down, and gently placed the bunch of lilies on her lap. Mom slowly moved her eyes from the TV to my face. I didn't say anything, just smiled and looked at mum. She looked puzzled, and frowned at me strangely. I'm used to this reaction. She was no longer as responsive and quick as she had been when she was younger. “媽,漂亮嗎?這花漂亮不漂亮?”我輕輕地問。 "Mum, is it pretty? Is this flower pretty?" I asked softly. 媽把目光吃力地移動到百合上,還是疑惑、皺眉。不知過了多久,媽伸出布滿裂紋的手去觸摸花枝上的綠葉。隨著葉子上的紋絡,一下,兩下,三下。媽好像想起了什么。Mum moved her eyes to lilies, still puzzled and frowned. After some time, she reached out her cracked hand to touch the green leaves on the flowering branch. With the lines on the leaves, she touched once, twice, three times. My mum seems to have something coming back to her memory. "Mum, is this flower pretty?" I asked again. “媽,這花漂不漂亮?”我又問了一次。 媽沒有理我,斷續(xù)摸另一張葉子。摸著摸著,她的手慢慢抬高,小心翼翼地觸碰那柔美的花瓣。白色的、紅色的,…… 笑容開始從滄桑的臉上綻放出來。 Mum ignored me and touched another leaf intermittently. Touching it, her hand slowly raised, carefully touching the delicate petals. White, red, ... A smile began to bloom from her worn face. “媽笑了,媽笑了!……媽,這花漂不漂亮?漂不漂亮?”我興奮地叫起來。 "Mum is smiling, mum is similing! ... Mom, isn't this flower pretty? Isn't it pretty?" I cried excitedly. 老姐聽到動靜趕緊從廚房里跑出來?!鞍?!百合?你去哪弄來的百合?”姐臉上寫著興奮和驚喜。 My elder sister hurriedly ran out of the kitchen when hearing my voice. "Ah! lilies? Where did you get them?" Her face is full of excitement and surprise. “我買的,剛才媽用手去摸百合,她還笑了?!?/span> "I bought it. Mum just touched lilies with her hand and she smiled." “笑了?!”姐也趕緊蹲到媽的跟前,用臉貼近花束,深深地吸了口氣。“嗯!好香!這花好香。……媽,你聞聞,看香不香?” "Smile ?!" My sister also quickly squatted in front of Mum, leaned her face against the bouquet, and took a deep breath. "Huh! So fragrant! This flower is so fragrant .... Mum, have you smelled them?" 媽疑惑地看了看姐,然后吃力地低下頭,模仿姐的動作,用鼻子慢慢地湊近粉色的花蕊,聞了聞。 Mum looked at my sister in confusion, then lowered her head, imitated her movements, and slowly approached the pink flower with her nose and smelled. “香不香?媽,這花香不香?……香就眨一下眼睛,眨一下眼睛!”姐充滿期待地問。 "Is it fragrant? Mum, isn't this floral scent? ... If you think so, give me a blink, blink your eyes!" Sister asked expectantly. 媽又吃力地聞了聞,笑容再次舒展在她的臉上。 Mum sniffed again, and her smile stretched on her face again. “媽眨眼睛了!媽在眨眼睛!……她知道我們說什么!……她知道!”姐興奮地叫起來,淚水劃過她的臉龐。 "Mum blinked! Mum blinked! ... She knows what we say! ... She knows!" My sister cried out excitedly, tears running across her face. 兩年了,全家人再也沒有看到這久違的笑容。 It has been two years since the whole family see this long-lost smile. 自從2018年以來,媽由于腦血管破裂就再也沒有笑過。腦顱手術之后,醫(yī)生說她將永遠失去語言能力,再也無法與外人正常交流,右手和右腳也會喪失知覺,反應會比以前遲鈍很多。 Since 2018, my mother had never smiled again because of a cerebrovascular rupture. After craniocerebral surgery, the doctor said that she would lose her language ability forever, she would no longer be able to communicate normally with people, her right hand and her right foot would lose consciousness, and her response would be much slower than before. 為了給媽找到全市最好的康復師,全家人跑遍全市所有的大醫(yī)院,其間不知遭遇多少冷眼。縱使在各大醫(yī)院里整整護理了一年,媽仍然沒有恢復到我們預期的狀態(tài)。把媽接回家后,媽與我們都生活在同一個屋檐下,但卻沒有人知道媽的內心世界。 In order to find the best rehabilitation practitioner in the city for her, the whole family tried all the major hospitals in the city, during which I did not know how many cold eyes were encountered. Even after a full year of nursing care in major hospitals, mum still did not return to our expected state. After picking up her back to home, mother live under the same roof with us, but no one knows her inner world. 與媽的交流只是一日三餐的喂飯,還有早晚時間段尿片的換洗和清理。剛開始時,我和姐都沒有經(jīng)過專業(yè)的護理訓練,給媽穿衣服時經(jīng)常要花費一個多小時的時間。有時不小心把媽給碰疼了,媽也從來不叫;姐常拿著媽以前做過布藝逗媽開心,媽也從來不笑。家人能看到最多的,就是媽帶著幾分疑惑的呆滯。 The exchange with my mother was only feeding her three meals a day, as well as changing and washing diapers in the morning and evening. At the beginning, as my sister and I did not have professional nursing training, and it often took more than an hour to dress my mother. Sometimes I accidentally hurt my mother, and my mother never said anything; my sister often took the cloth to make her happy, and mom never smiled. The family can see the most is the stunned mother with a little doubt. 姐轉過臉,抹掉面頰上的淚水,她問我:“怎么想到要買花?” She turned her face and wiped away the tears on her cheeks. She asked me, "Why do you want to buy flowers?" “剛接到哥的電話,他從廣州回來,要在隔離點隔離14天,今年就不能回家吃年夜飯了?!驗楦绮荒芑丶遗銒屵^年,我就買了一束花來陪媽過年。” "I just received a call from my brother. He came back from Guangzhou. And he needs to be self-isolated for 14 days at the quarantine point. This year, he will not be able to go home for New Year's Eve dinner .... As brother can't go home to stay with mother for the Chinese New Year, I bought a bunch of flowers instead to keep mum a companion. " 姐轉哭為笑說:“以后過年,我們都給媽買一束花。” My sister stopped crying and said with a smile, "Now the new family tradition of Chinese New Year, we will buy a flower bouquet for our mother." “嗯!” "Deal!" 大年三十的年夜飯里,擺在餐桌正中的不是大魚大肉,而是插在花瓶里的一束百合。優(yōu)雅、堅定、芬芳四溢。爸幸福地給媽喂飯,媽一邊吃,一邊看著餐桌上的百合。姐和姐夫不停地往火鍋里添菜,我和侄子邊吃邊在在談論明年高考的動向。 In the New Year's Eve dinner, what was placed in the center of our table is not fish or meat dish, but a bunch of lilies in a vase. Elegant, firm and fragrant. My father fed my mother happily. My mother ate while watching the lilies on the table. My sister and brother-in-law kept adding vegetables to the hot pot. My nephew and I were talking about the trend of the higher education entrance examination next year. 在這個疫情肆虐的冬夜里,守護我的,正是這一束花、一家人、一縷香、一屋載滿溫暖的燈光。 What guards me is this bunch of flowers, a family, a scent, and a house filled with warm lights in the winter night where the epidemic is raging. 陶理看完這段的感受:Hermione's feelings: 我的媽媽對于美的品味也和韋華東的媽媽是相似的。我的理解是她們都成長于一個十分匱乏的年代。幸運的是我們,我們的父母并沒有強迫我們也必須像他們一樣生活,活在過去。My mother's taste of beauty is similar to Wei's mother has. I understand that can be a habit as they grew up in really tough time. And luckily for both of us, our parents do not force us to live like them and live in the past. 不同的是,我很早就知道我媽媽其實也喜歡花花,是因為從小在我外婆家就有花花草草,當然還是果樹居多,因為可以吃嘛?,F(xiàn)在我也會給我媽買花,就算她罵我,也還是堅持浪費這個錢。因為我覺得首先我媽其實不缺吃喝,可卻總是忙于日?,嵥椋踔猎诖夯€漫的現(xiàn)在,也不會停下來看會兒花。這一點錢還在我的負擔范圍之內,我不介意違逆她,讓她的生活里多一點花香。The difference is that I know my mother in fact like the flowers, it is because my grandparents on my mother's side actually keep flowers and fruit trees in their garden. Mainy for food, of course. So I now will also buy flowers for my mother, although she blames me for wasting money. Because I know my mum actually lives a life without worrying where to find next meals, but she has been kept busy with daily doings, and even in a spring like this, she often does not stop for appreciating flowers. And the money I spent is affordable, so I do not mind go against her, by making her life surrounded with some flowers. 我想要聲明的一點是,買花送媽媽并不是我們鼓勵每位讀者都去做的。只是恰好我們都和媽媽有這樣的故事。你的媽媽可能喜歡拍照,可能喜歡畫畫,可能想要練拳擊,所有這些都是你可以陪伴她去做的事情。What I want to say is, we are not suggesting every reader to buy flowers for your mum. It is accidently that our mum have connections with flowers. Your mother may like taking photos, may prefer drawing, may want to try boxing, all of these can be what you accompany them. 我想請各位讀者試試看,和你的媽媽,或者和你身邊你想更親近些的女性長輩,多花點時間,學著像新認識的朋友那樣相處看看。不只是為了讓更多女性的故事得到講述和記錄,也是為了我們可以更了解作為一個人的母親、長輩,而不只是因為我們有血緣親情。I want to invite you to try this, with you mother, or some senior female figure you want to get closer, spend more time with each other as you are making new friends. It is not just for me that more stories can be written down and told, but also for us, we can get to know someone as a human beyond being a mother, a senior figure, not just we are connected by blood.